By Lydia F. Theon Ware i | Contributing Columnist Lydia F. Theon Ware i is published in MUSE, the Riverside City College literary magazine. Her latest work includes “Howling Butterflies Need Water Too!,” “Awe; Love Letters to the Most High,” and “17 Letters for Jesus and Me.” (Courtesy of Lydia F. Theon Ware i) How do you process your sorrow? Processing grief is personal and private. Journaling is a way to process. Here are a few tips to get started, from someone who is grieving. 25. Do not buy more than six journals. Buy three journals: one journal for your tears, one journal for your rage and one journal for your memories. 24. Do not buy cheap pens. Do buy good quality pens that have a weight your fingers enjoy; pens that flow and are smooth across the page. (.07 mm in diameter or .10 mm are my favorite gel pens or .05 mm if you are a neat, very precise person.) 23. Do not cry everyday alone. Do cry with friends because crying with friends can lead to laughter. 22. Do not tear out the pages of your journal. Buy a notebook and tear out its pages. Place the pages into your grief journals. Decorate these pages with doodles, stickers, chalk or watercolors. 21. Do not follow the Five Stages of Grief. Do create your own 85 stages of grief in your life. List all the ways you grieve, then look at the five stages of grief to see if any of them match or make sense to you. 20. Do not write in your journal daily. Write when your body feels overwhelmed by rage, or when your memories or your melancholy feel so strong you can almost taste them. Write when you feel dull and empty. If this happens to be an everyday feeling, dull and empty, then talk to a trusted friend or a counselor. 19. Do not write when you are told to write. Do write when you feel like writing. 18. Do not write inside. Do write outside on a blanket in the shade […]
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