Text to Speech Troubles: Why Writers Don’t Always Make the Best Speakers

Prior to the publication of my first novel, I was invited to speak at a conference for independent booksellers in hopes of generating interest in my book. “What do I do?” I asked my husband, who is also an author (a more veteran one) and much more comfortable talking in front of a group, and in the world in general. “You say yes,” he told me. Supposedly everyone is afraid of public speaking, but some of us have reasons to dread it more than others—in particular, a writer who is bad at talking. How can someone who traffics in words for a living be bad at speaking? Shouldn’t the two go together? I am not fast on my feet when it comes to extemporaneous speech. I wouldn’t even say I’m of average verbal dexterity. My awareness of my clumsiness exacerbates the problem. My sentences are often derailed by anxiety as I…um, you know what I mean? I have a terrible habit of allowing my voice to trail off while searching the listener’s face for signs of affirmation. People often finish my thoughts for me. How can someone who traffics in words for a living be bad at speaking? Shouldn’t the two go together? According to my dad, my first semi-complete sentence, at the age of three, was in response to the question, Why don’t you talk, Kate? “Because I don’t talk good.” I hate being this way. It’s incredibly frustrating and disempowering, and it makes me feel stupid and meek. It’s made me a writer. In writing, I have the time to consider my thoughts, figure out exactly what I want to say, and the best words to say it. I can come across as I don’t in life: assured, articulate, dignified. The conference was months away, and there was plenty of time to figure out what to say—and to practice saying it. But every time I sat down to do this, I was paralyzed with fear. The mere thought of standing up before a room of strangers and talking about my book elicited the kind of terror that […]

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