The Cruel Irony Of Being A Humor Writer With Crippling Depression

As a humor writer, I try to write about everything. It’s basically all that I know how to do. But the thing about writing humor is that it sometimes makes me feel like I’m hiding behind a mask and pretending I’m something I’m not. Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m a person who loves to laugh — and who loves to make other people laugh even more — but most of the time, that’s not me, or at least that’s not how I feel. But it’s hard to ignore what goes on in my head and even harder to write about depression. For one, there’s the fear that writing about it makes you look weak and turns people off because it’s not funny or light. Most people have their own problems, so why would they read about mine? The other trouble is that it is often incredibly difficult to articulate just how I feel. Deep depression is hard to understand, especially if you’ve never been there. I have manageable days that, for me, usually include writing something I don’t hate or spending time outside. In other words, I function and appear to be fine. But then there are days — sometimes even that same day — when, like a virus, my depression flares up and all I can do is remind myself not to swerve my car over the center line or walk a little too […]

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