What Writing TV Soap Operas Taught Me About Writing Novels

Soap School wasn’t its real name. It had no name, no accreditation. It didn’t award a degree. But it did hold out hope of a well remunerated career in the wonderful world of soap operas. And here’s the kicker—it didn’t cost a penny. In fact, it paid its student body of four to attend. That’s why I was there. My experience at Soap School was so bizarre and confidence-battering that for years I managed to repress it. Not until the protagonist of my novel The Trouble with You landed a job working for the head writer of several daytime radio serials—she’s adamant about never calling them soap operas or soaps—did the memory seep back into my consciousness. Though I had managed to repress the experience, some of the tricks of the trade I picked up during the semester I was enrolled, or perhaps indentured, did linger. To prove it, let me set the scene. A well-appointed corner office in a Manhattan literary agency with a backdrop of the city skyline visible through the windows. The scene features two characters: the writer and her agent. The writer (in a recap of the backstory for viewers who missed the last few episodes) tells of her history of ghosting other people’s books and writing novels to formula under pseudonyms, the publication of her first novel under her own name, her euphoria at the good reviews, her despair at discovering that the reading public who pony up hard currency in exchange for books did not share the reviewers’ enthusiasm. My experience at Soap School was so bizarre and confidence-battering that for years I managed to repress it. Backstory taken care of, viewers brought up to today’s segment, the agent announces she has an offer the writer can’t refuse. An executive at a television network is looking for two promising young novelists and two playwrights of the same ilk to be trained in the craft of writing daytime serials. And—the agent pauses dramatically to underline the full import of what she’s about to say—the writer will get something no novelist, especially a fledgling one, […]

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